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[03 Nov 2009|04:43am] |
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mood |
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 grumpy |
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I'm running out of things to do while nursing the back injury. I'm so tired of reading. Damm it... I just realized I spent a good while re-writting my bio, and I think I just closed it before I finished. Oh well.. lol
I wish I could sleep for more than 3 hours without my back pain waking me up.
I really hope it's just a pulled muscle and not a pinched nerve or something with my spine.
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| Playing the Hand I Was Dealt |
[01 Nov 2009|03:54am] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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Queen -- We Are The Champions |
] |
I have always been a wild card. And, betting on me is a gamble. I have made a fool out of myself on many occasions, but I’ve also expressed profound, intuitive insight into future events. When it comes to assuming risks, my judgment can be flawed due to my inexperience. And, while many of my peers sought knowledge through schooling at various institutes, I chose to learn by jumping right into the market place after I graduated high school, not that I’m proud of my public education. I think the public education system failed me, not that I failed it. It’s just not designed for everyone. I am rebellious in nature. I question things, especially authority.
( Read more... )
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| My Worst Enemy |
[19 Oct 2009|02:56am] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
] |
I formated my pc this weekend. And in the process I came across some old photos of myself from 5yrs ago, and it felt like I wasn't even looking at myself. I see the younger me in a totally different light now. I don't know why I was so hard on myself back then. Things weren't as bad as I thought them to be. It's unfortunate that I couldn't see that then. I really have been my own worst enemy. It has taken me a very long time to overcome the many negative thoughts I've had. About five years of solitude now. Some negative thoughts still linger, but for the most part I'm more confident in the choices I've made in my life. I still have a lot to learn about myself, but at least now I feel like I'm finally coming into my own. Hopefully one day I'll find a way not to shut everyone out.
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| Charity |
[13 Oct 2009|08:42pm] |
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mood |
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cynical |
] |
I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.
I told them to F*%# off!!
Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!
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| Rant |
[12 Oct 2009|06:27pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
] |
I'm bored so I've decided to write something here. So of the many random thoughts that invade my brain during the day, today I wondered if pregnant women become more sensitive to the world around them in order to help give a baby's cells information that would help it develope certain genetic traits that would allow it to survive and function in the world. For example, a woman and a man who have gone through periods of starvation, would it cause the newly born to develope an ability to store fat more efficently that a child conceived during periods of fruitfullness?
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[09 Oct 2009|06:38pm] |
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After seeing that Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize, I'm just wondering how long it will take before the mainstream media, mostly FOX, begins to associate Obama with the 3rd anti-Christ of Nostradamus' prediction.
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| Economical Sabotoge |
[06 Oct 2009|02:12pm] |
I got a chance to see Micheal Moore's new movie, "Capitalism: A Love Story," and I don't entirely agree with his argument. Capitalism isn't the problem. It's the fiat currency based monetary system that turns people against each other. Afterall, when the amount of currency in circulation doesn't cover the debt held over people's heads, then how could it ever be paid off? The only way one can pay off his/her individual debt is to find ways to "legally" exploit people. Basically profiting off the misfortunes of others. The ultimate goal of any strawman (i.e. corporate entity) is to corner people into accepting less for what they already have.
And since most people are too innocent, they never realize they're being led to the economical slaughter. There is too much trust in authority figures and not enough self-governing.
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| Health Care Reform Argument |
[04 Sep 2009|08:39pm] |
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mood |
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 geeky |
] |
I think this is one of the best arguments I've heard against healthcare reform yet.
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| Fork in the Road |
[07 Jul 2009|02:59am] |
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mood |
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melancholy |
] |
For the last couple of days I've been evaluting my paradigm, my overall behavior over the years, and my ambitions. And at times, these past few days, I've wondered if I'm just crazy. And I know some people out there would write me off as such, but they never really knew me anyways, especially since I'll say or do something weird to divert their attention away from me.
I know a lot of the pressure I experience comes from my parents' expectations. I know I can accomplish a lot more than what I have accomplished. And even though the idea of money, cars, a big house, traveling the world, etc are very appealing to me, I'm just not that motivated by material gain.
And ironically, I understand our monetary system very well, as well as capatalism. So, there really isn't anything holding me back from achieving such material gain except for my own will or lack thereof.
The thing is: I just want to do something with my life that actually helps people, something that actually means something. I don't want to be just some random broker who exploits the monetary system so I can just rub it in peoples faces for doubting me all these years. That would just make me a successful, lonely prick.
I don't know why this is on my mind... maybe I'm just lonely tonight. Maybe that's my destiny -- to die as an idealistic, grumpy old man.
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| Transformers 2 was rushed |
[30 Jun 2009|10:32pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
] |
I watched Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen this weekend, and I'm very disappointed. The action scenes were great eye candy, and the movie was entertaining for that reason alone. However, the entire story line was one big bucket of weak sauce. It was like one really bad filler in what could have been a great series of movies. I mean, things did not match up at all! For example, five robots go down for Megatron; one of them is destroyed for parts; and then six robots emerge? Someone is really bad at math, and I don't think it's me. And this Navy fleet guarding Megatron allows a transport ship to get close to the area, and not one ship even gets one shot off at them?
Another one is: There are two shards from what's left of the "All Spark," and one resurrects Megatron, but the Autobots don't use the other shard for Optimus when they're the ones who have it?
Also, how are the bots that form Devastator fighting the US Army, and also transformed as Devastator at the Pyramids?
But what really irks me is how Devastator was completely changed from the cartoons. They even showed what was to be a foot, and I was like, "Oh damn! Here we go!" Only to be let down by this idiot, suck-bot machine on all fours. He didn't even have a personality. I wanted to at least hear "Constructicons! Transform!" Or even one cheesy line from Devastator like, "Prepare to be destroyed by Devastator!" But no.. that's too much to ask! :(
There's so much more. And I know it's just a movie. And it's just a cartoon. But it was my favorite to watch when I was a kid. So when it's made into a movie series, I expect to be dazzled. And I wasn't. Damn capatalist pigs have to ruin everything. :\
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| Betrayal |
[24 Jun 2009|12:51am] |
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mood |
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angry |
] |
I can't even begin to explain how angry I am at my roommate. First, I spend money to bail him out of jail and put a roof over his head. Then I buy him food and give him clothes, as well as provide him with various toiletries. I help him land a full-time job and even pay for his work clothes, and I even drive him to work everyday. I also set him up with a bible study -- he seemed pretty religious to begin with anyways.
And, once he was settled in, I helped him open a bank account and showed him how to start saving money so he could get his own car and even his own phone.
I told him he didn't even have to pay me back for anything. All I asked in return was for him to pay $500 a month in rent, keep the kitchen clean, and to cook when he could. (Which I think is more than fair.)
I even proposed that we put together a menu that we could advertise in the vacation homes I manage -- which he agreed to do. I even got him to cook for a few guests already!
This kid had it made! All he had to do was put forth some effort, and give the business some time to grow.
And he was doing good for 2 months. However, once he started putting some money together, he started hanging out and "partying."
He lost his job for smoking marijuana in the bathroom this past Sunday. Yet, he told me (in summary:) someone picked a fight with him and threw a pan at him, and that the restaurant manager fired the both of them. I discovered to the truth earlier today.
The other night I saw him with severe cotton mouth -- his lips were all white. And the following day he was dragging ass, and he even confessed to my mom (who is currently visiting) that he was having chills. My mom thought he was sick because I'm currently fighting an upper respiratory infection. So she inquired into his symptoms thinking he caught what I had and had a fever.
Well, once she told me that, I suspected he was using heroin. And at 5am this morning, when I couldn't sleep because of the lightning storm, I researched signs of opiate abuse, and it seems to fit: he hasn't been eating much, if at all; he's become distant and avoidant; today, he has been letting out deep sighs; and, then there's the dry mouth and body chills.
I don't know what to do with him right now. It's not like I can just kick him out. He has no place to go. All his family is in Puerto Rico.
Just now before he left to go out again, I had to remind him of his court appointment for tomorrow.
This kid has lost it! It's just so sad to watch. Worst of all, there's no way for me to help him. I can't afford it.
I'm meeting with some folks tomorrow to discuss it further. Hopefully I'll figure out a solution. :\
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| Night at the Roxy |
[14 Jun 2009|03:56am] |
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mood |
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drunk |
] |
I swear, it's like every city has a Roxy, and it's either a club or a strip joint. Tonight though, it was a club, and it's been like 5 yrs since I've been to a club. And all I can say is that tonight I had a really good time. I'm probablly going to be very hung over tomorrow. Hopefully, however, if I eat this UNO quesadilla that my roommate brought home, I'll sober up and it won't be that bad. Though, I still might have to do some laps tomorrow to really get all this Johnny Walker out of my system. Pools are so great. :)
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| Gloom & Doom |
[31 May 2009|02:02am] |
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mood |
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crushed |
] |
I'd say I've made my self a pretty noose this time around. I haven't felt this empty and lost since my civil case against the builders when I had no idea whether I'd win the case or not. My emotions were even applified back then because I was on an extemely high dosage of Adderall. I'm not stressing as much as I was back then since I'm no longer on adderall, but I'm pretty close. I've been feeling pretty morbid this entire week, and I look like a bum right now. All this week I've tried to hide from my responsibilities.
Luckly though, my pride won't let me give up. Maybe if I just put on blinders and just will myself through it all, I'll be alright.
-One charge has already been dropped in my "criminal" case. The other one is currently being appealed to a higher court now for a mistrial -- which might take up to 6 months.
-Also, I've gotten rid of an unruly partner in my business venture, so it's all on me now to get bookings again.
So, things are at least half done. I just need to grind it out and hope for the best.
Good thing I'm going to Miami in June with some friends. I really could use the escape.
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[18 May 2009|06:09pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
] |
Well.. One count got dropped, and one has been moved to mistrial. This case just not want to end.
I feel absolutely drained.
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| Trial Date |
[18 May 2009|12:27pm] |
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music |
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Kings of Leon -- Use Somebody |
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On lunch break right now from my trial. Just got done picking my jury, and I'm very nervous. I can't even eat right now since my stomach is full of butterflies. I'm still confident in the fact that the State has no evidence, but one can never tell how a jury is going to deliberate. However, there's still a chance that the case won't be turned over to the jury. There's some motion, I forget what it's called right now, but it basically asks the judge to drop the case because there's no evidence. However if it does get turned over to them, then my life will be in the hands of 6 strangers, and that is a very scary thought.
I've been thinking a lot about the way I've gone about challenging the laws of this nation. And the only way things are going to change is on the inside. There's no way for me to take on the current system head-on. Too many people profit off the current system. And they have more resources than I do.
Anyhow.. I hope I'll be writing a follow up to this post very soon. :P
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| Swine Flu |
[27 Apr 2009|03:38pm] |
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mood |
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 curious |
] |
I wonder how well those masks actually help. It makes me think of those duck-and-cover videos from the 50s; the ones explaining how to survive a nuclear blast.
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| Trial Date Moved |
[16 Apr 2009|03:03pm] |
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music |
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RATM - Testify |
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My trial got moved to May 29th. :(
I really wanted to have this issue settled this week.
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| Capatalism Corrupts Court System |
[11 Apr 2009|05:05am] |
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mood |
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sad |
] |
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music |
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STP - Plush (acoustic) |
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I can't believe how corrupt our court systems are. Capatalism seizes justice and trades it for fiat currency. In essence, capatalism turns justice into a geisha, and which ever party can pony up the most 'pennies' wins a date with justice, just becareful of putting *your* 2 cents on the table. Because, if you do, you will be held in contempt! They only want your government issued slave chips, your consent is assumed on day one.
So get this: if I am to win my criminal case next week, I won't be automatically compensated for the damages I've incurred. Instead, I have to file a civil suit which would eventaully begin to impose a 100 thousand USD financial burden on me. Can we say? "FUCK ME!"
To top it off, if I truly wanted to put my '2 cents' on the table, I would have to take my criminal case ALL the way to the all mighty, all powerful Supreme Court. Guess how much that would cost to bank roll? About 100 thousand USD!
So, the bottom line is that my freedom costs roughly $200,000 USD, give or take ten grand.
Ain't that a bitchin' deal?
SHIZER!
So come Tuesday... even if I win, I've actually lost. :\
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| Why do you have muscles? |
[07 Apr 2009|02:24am] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
] |
I took on a roommate March 1st to try and get some extra cash on the side. Actually, my initial intentions were to get something else out of him, but now that he has a job, thanks to me, I think I'll be asking for rent. He was one of my cell mates for 10 days. And one thing about jail: after you've heard another guy shit not more than 3ft from you, then nearly any social barriers that might have existed are brought down like the Berlin wall. And the smell ensures it. And with it, at times, you get more information about someone than you need to know.
So, I found out that he's a cook from Puerto Rico, he doesn't know anyone here, Spanish is his first language, he has no place to go if he happened to get bailed out, he has no money, and lost all his belongings. He lost everything because he was in jail for 2 months, and the person he was rooming with "threw it away." (And I thought I had it bad. :\) I told him not to believe that bullshit. No one throws away another persons stuff. They first look through it to see if there is anything worth keeping or giving away. Then they throw it away. That didn't make him feel any better; I'm sure. My sense of humor is pretty horrible at times... actually probablly all the time. :P
Anyhow... jail becomes group therapy or something like it. People tell you anything and everything. Or maybe they just told me, I don't know. Like the time one of our cellmates accidently hooked up with a tranny while he was extremely drunk. He told me in his own *esquisite* way of how he was making out with "it," and how he looked down and suddenly asked, "Why do you have muscles? WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE MUSCLES? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!" And ran out of the room hysterically.
That's probablly in my top ten of funiest stories heard.
Anyhow...
Some how I agreed to bail this cook out as soon as I got out myself, and that I would let him stay at my place while he figured things out for himself. Aren't I good guy? lol.. of course, this agreement is contingent solely on whether or not his cooking is good.
I have to admit though, his cooking is pretty good. And I have high standards. My mom spoiled me with her good cooking, and my dad furthered my pickiness by exposing me to fine foods -- wine, cheese, steak, sausage, etc. By no means is my pallet fully developed, but if I ever get around to traveling some more, I'll get there -- which I hope is sooner than later.
But, as things currently stand, he seems to be pretty cool. He's a good laugh. He seems to appreciate everything I've given him. I'm thinking about telling him that he doesn't have to pay me back for anything; that all he has to do is pay me $400 a month here-on-out and continue to cook good food.
I think that's a fair deal. Though, I have to show him how to keep a clean kitchen. You can always judge a cook's skills by how well they can keep the kitchen clean.
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